Breaking Curses with Forgiveness

Probably the biggest thing that binds Christians is failure to forgive. Unforgiveness is a potent poison that eats at the soul and left untreated it will destroy a person. Some sicknesses and diseases manifested in the body are attributed to the work of unforgiveness.

A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones. Proverbs 17:22

The Bible uses spirit and heart interchangeably in reference to humanity created in His image. A broken heart often stems from a hurt where unforgiveness prevailed. Proverbs shows a direct relationship of how unforgiveness left unresolved effects on the body.

With all of that said, there is a great opportunity for Christians to walk in a freedom and a power they haven’t experienced through the power of forgiveness. Forgiveness breaks chains, sets people free, and provides a peace that cannot be obtained any other way. Stepping into forgiveness elevates our perspective from limited narrowness to a privileged position of seeing from God’s eyes. Nothing is more liberating.

Many times when we come to a standstill in helping demonized people break free, we take them through a process of forgiveness. It seems like they always initially resist. Sometimes it seems as if an invisible hand is placed over their mouth, or they are being choked to prevent words of forgiveness from escaping. Every time we help them work through unforgivenss into forgiveness, we visibly witness great liberation in seeing their strongholds broken.

There is a power of forgiveness that releases demonic strongholds and sets people free. Our daily prayers should include a confession of forgiveness and a commitment to walk in the power of it. Jesus prescribed it in His model prayer:

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. Matthew 6:12

Unforgiveness may be a cause for unanswered prayers.

Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them. “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11:24-25

We are required to forgive others so we, ourselves, can be forgiven. Failure to forgive places the Christian in jeopardy of a curse and makes them susceptible to demonic torment.

Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”

Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.

 “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.

“So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” Matthew 18:21-35

 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15

Matthew 18:23-35 also describes the torment faced by those who choose the path of unforgiveness.  Unforgiveness opens the door to demonic oppression and torment. Many mental and behavioral issues with which some people struggle might be alleviated through the power of forgiveness.

There are some myths about what forgiveness looks like. Sometimes it helps to define what something isn’t in order to understand what it really is.

• Forgiveness is NOT saying this didn’t happen to you
• Forgiveness is NOT denying the pain of a hurt
• Forgiveness is NOT saying what someone did to you was OK
• Forgiveness is NOT necessarily reconciliation with the offender
• Forgiveness is NOT setting aside proper boundaries that would prevent future hurt
• Forgiveness is NOT automatically fully trusting the offender
• Forgiveness is NOT forgetting in the human sense of the word

Forgiveness doesn't take away the pain of the one who hurt you. Forgiveness is only the first step of walking out of pain for the one who was hurt. The process of being pain-free is much more than just forgiving. Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean that their violation doesn't hurt anymore. More often than not, there is a process of healing that always begins with forgiveness.  Still feeling the pain after the act of forgiveness doesn’t mean you are in unforgiveness, unless an inordinate amount of time has passed. The process of forgiveness changes from unforgiveness to a sadness or sorrow of loss. That’s a Godly path or process. Godly sorrow leads to good things.

Trust is always a choice and it is the foundation of every relationship.  If you choose not to trust the person you forgave, then you will have no real relationship with them. In some cases this is appropriate as in deep violations such as rape or abuse.  But in a marriage, restoring trust is essential. Restoring trust is a process. A spouse who offends in a marriage will obviously want immediate and complete trust, but they must earn it in the process of complete relationship restoration. Forgiveness is not defined by trust.

Here’s what forgiveness is:

• Forgiveness IS acknowledging an offense
• Forgiveness IS often a process
• Forgiveness IS forgiving a debt or trespass
• Forgiveness IS giving up any unrealistic or unfulfilled expectations
• Forgiveness IS releasing you to get on with life and fulfill your destiny
• Forgiveness IS forgetting in the Biblical sense of the word

There is the tendency towards a human flaw where the offended has an unrealistic expectation for payback.  Withholding forgiveness until the offender says they are sorry is blatant unforgiveness. Expecting something from the offender to appease the offended carries an expectation for punishment, not forgiveness no matter how much it vindicates the one offended.  When Jesus hung on the cross suffering in punishment, He yielded His right to be offended to such an extent He asked Father God to forgive his tormentors. This is our model.

Do not say, “I will recompense evil”; wait for the Lord, and He will save you. Proverbs 20:22

Through forgiveness we are able to release offenders to the Lord’s care and treatment. He does a much better job than we would do in an offended posture.

I was once counseling a man in a failing marriage and he was considering his wife’s family’s request to dress him up as a clown at a family gathering and let them shoot paint balls at him. That might make them feel good about punishing him, but it is not forgiveness. That’s abuse.

Biblical forgetting isn’t necessarily forgetting the memory of a hurt, but it’s keeping the offense in the past after forgiveness has been applied.

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you.  Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us be of the same mind. Philippians 3:13-16

There may be a problem, though, if a memory still carries pain and a feeling of violation and not just sadness. If there's been a reasonable length of time where pain should be behind but isn't then this offense hasn't been "forgotten" and an offense is still, possibly, being held in one’s heart.

Unforgiveness unresolved leads to bitterness. Bitterness is simply unfulfilled revenge. This is where people get eaten up in offense and where their behavior becomes managed by the offense.

 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.  And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;  Hebrews 12:14-15

Through unforgiveness you attach yourself to the offender in place of God. This does two things: it permits you to become bitter and it prevents God from doing a number on the offender in your place. Forgiveness detaches us from both the offender and from unforgiveness and all the harm it attracts to us.

How to keep yourself free of unforgiveness:  bless those who offend you.  Yes, it goes against everything human in us. It’s the last thing we want to do. But by blessing those who have harmed you, you are extending grace and forgiveness and in such a moment you are more Godlike than ever. You are imitating God as a dear child of His.

Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. Ephesians 5:1-2

You will never have the opportunity to offer such a sacrifice in heaven as you are able here on earth by forgiving. You exemplify Christ; you become Christ-like in the highest degree because you are sacrificing like Christ and blessing others.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Romans 12:14

bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. Luke 6:28

Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.  Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:19-21

By forgiving and releasing blessing, there's no place for a curse to land.

Like a flitting sparrow, like a flying swallow, so a curse without cause shall not alight. Proverbs 26:2

A successful path of forgiveness begins with a commitment to humility.   Humility is the nature of God. Pride is the nature of Satan. God humbled Himself and became a man for the purpose of restoration. Humility fosters restoration. 

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Philippians 2:5-8

  The reward of humility and the fear of the Lord Are riches, honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

A servant yields their right to have their way to hold a grudge. A classy act for a servant is to shed offense so God can have His way and so that there will be peace in the fellowship and in the family.

I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 5:1-3

The commitment to humility in the face of “forgiveness opportunities” marks the mature Christian. These are burdens we gladly bear for the cause of Christ. It’s not about me, but it’s about His ministry and His work in others. My perspective broadens beyond me to what really counts.

 

But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. James 3:8-10

“Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:37, 38

A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:35-37

Through the power of forgiveness we have the opportunity to imitate God in the most intimate of ways. This is an excellent way to fellowship in His sufferings. Forgiving moves us into constant liberty and positions us to view from God’s perspective. Forgiveness is healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Model prayer for forgiveness:

In Jesus’ name,

I thank you Lord for forgiving me of all my sin and trespasses

I choose to forgive as I have been forgiven

I forgive_______________________

I release any right I have held to bring revenge.

I release them from my heart and hands and place them into Your hands, my just Judge

I break every curse I have placed on them

And now I bless them. Lord bless them with all spiritual blessings, in Jesus’ name.

dmcb

Related:

• Curses Create Dysfunction
• A Cause of Curses
• Categories of Causes that Bring Curses
• Breaking Curses with Forgiveness